超级双面人

呵呵！ 没想到。。
您的演技真的是出乎预料耶！
还可以假装好像很后悔的，
亏大家还是那么的关心你呀！
但你总是对人假惺惺，

真佩服你能遇人说人话，遇鬼说鬼话，
我想你真的要好好自己检讨一下，
用大脑想想，你说出的每一句话，
会带来什么后果，会对别人造成什么伤害？

原来我一向以来，都看错人了，
总是没相信别人对你的看法，
原来你从头到尾都是那么的自私。
我甘拜下风啊！双面人！
恭喜您得了奥斯卡最佳主角呀！

untitled

dear smelly milky,

i've missed you dearly, though i don't quite want show it
i've miss how much you were such a pain in the ass,

how much you'd look like a stray dog when i have not shower you,

how smelly you were when you've stepped on pee and poos
how lazy you were lying on the floor camouflaging as a carpet,
how stupid whenever i tricked you onto doing something dumb,
how jacoon you were when i brought you out for walks,
how nice of you for self-declaring all my pillows as yours,
how much you would do just for food,
how racist were you for barking at all *tooot* skinned humans,
how your adorable out-of-the-bed face waiting for me to pat you,
how your cute fur curls on your fat body,
how clumsy you were walking around like a mop,
how messy your fur was, covering your eyes and you couldnt see


sigh :'(
i wished that i could turn back time....

5500

i've got the deal, i'm the top priority on his buyer list, i'm happy with the negotiated price, i'm happy with #199, i'll eventually have sufficient money to afford it, but....

just one more concern, family issues...

i'm so close to close the deal, but sigh i know that alot of dramas will happen eventually after this, and i'm putting it on hold, but i will still have to get back to him in a few days time.. i know in this world, you dont only have to live for yourself, you'll have to live up to so many people's expectation, and i'm starting to get very sick about all these.

can't i just be myself?

Solution Options

1. Buy it without family's consent, keep it away from them at anyone's house, dont take it to work (colleagues and my parents are related in business issues), take it out on weekends
2. Buy it without family's consent, take it home and my life will be at stake, take it to everywhere, save money on fuel, extra money goes to car installment (as they might want me to be responsible for the car as well, since i'm being RESPONSIBLE for #199)
3. Discuss with them before buying it, (answer will definately be a NO)
4. Don't buy it, take me to some centre and brainwash it so i will not have memory of buying it.

It's really frustrating having to be paid more or less the minimum wage, and i have to find so many extra ways to increase my income. And also have to control every single penny in your wallet at the end of the month, mind you it is literally EVERY SINGLE PENNY.

Sigh i've too much to regret on in life, not being a good girl and follow the rules at earlier age, not having a proper education, flunk all courses at uni, screwed practically everything in life.... there is no turning back for me, i do not have the courage to go back to my family and beg for studies, besides they would probably lock me in for my entire studying years, and i prolly dont deserve a chance anyway....

Alright too far away from today's topic, So........ now, can anyone suggest me a solution for this?

why

Sometimes i just wonder why dont i have the chance to have some time for myself?? I just can't seem to understand why did #077 threw tantrum at me out of no where today, I understand that she felt that i prioritize others before her but the fact is I just needed some Me-times, I don't want to get to caught up with us too much and got forgotten by others. Eventhough i dread going out with #105 and told her i couldnt make it today, she then told me it's serious business, and as a friend who can close her eyes driving around PJ, it would help much with knowing the locations of possible business related outlets in my area- Hartamas. Honestly how much I wanted to just sleep in for the night after all the emergency calls I had at work with my high positioned Lamp Berger client who earns 300k a month who stays at Seri Bukit Ceylon Residence.

I also understand she may seem to feel like I'm only coming back to her when I'm done with others, I'm sorry to make her feel this way about me, but I just need her to allow me to have some Me-times in our relationship. Like sometimes, when she feels tired just when i was about to get heated with the topic, and knowing she's really tired, I'll just have to cut everything short, keeping all my opinions and thoughts back in my pig brain. And about the present, shes just gotta stop agitating me on refunding it, as I took how many surfing hoursssssssss to search for it knowing she would love it to death. And sorry if i was being rude this afternoon.

I had a long talk with friend #007 and #105 separately today and yesterday, talking about goals, money matters, mentality, lessons, analyzation of one's behaviour etc etc. I learned alot by exchanging opinions. I hope that I can do that with #077 this weekend. I've got so much things that I want her to give opinions to. And I hope she's not angry with me.

Anyway I brought up the subject about #199, I asked for friends' opinion about it already. Though they think its not the right time yet but somehow, I, almost at the grown up age of 21. I really really want to own something that i like, something i can call it my own. I have not much of 20's to go through anymore, I just want to achieve my set of goals by end of this year. Sighh...

I regretted on fueling up my tank full last sunday, as for now I've only got 20 cents with me in my wallet and a whole tank of fuel. I could have pumped half instead, so that i'll still have 20dollar with me or so :/ And the best part is that I've got a wedding to attend this saturday, which means byebye 50dollar angpow money!

consquences

consequences...i hate you

knowing that i can finally own baby #199 is like accomplishing at least one of my goals this year, Alex, my boss asked for a goal list earlier this year, and owning #199 is one of them, and a few more goals are no problem at the end of the year. I'm so proud of myself.

but after yesterday's talk, the consequences of losing my car and getting into fights with evil people at home is slowly eating me up, yeah so what i can afford it, i know they will surely find fault with me saying if i could own #199, why not paying my own car etc etc. I've already see it coming anyway.

i may know the reason behind if my father objects me to own it, its the safety which is his main concern, but why treat me like a son before and now giving me rules of what a girl of his eyes should follow? Why?? I secretly still hate the situation at home though no more screamings and annoying i-m-so-dissappointed facial expressions already.. sigh, i still feel very empty sitting at the corner of my room...

as for the evil people, mind you its singular. yeah he would find anything to make me feel miserable again, i truly hate him, though he may seem harsh at the surface and all he wants is me to be good. Yeah Wtf his defination of good is no where what I am today, doesn't mean what I'm doing now concludes that I'm a bad person right? I just happened to turn out to be an unidentified androgynous person. You, your beloved daddy and mommy made me this way, I have no choice in it. And I happened to be out of the norm at home, I think im just very westernized, which i know they are incapable of accepting changes and new culture. Just by the way they communicate, I can easily tell that they havent grew out of stone age.

If those consquences came true, I might lose my car. And I'll just have to blame my genes, WHY THE HELL AM I BORN CHINESE and have bloody egoistic cina men in my family.

Dont laugh okay, including you cina men, all cina men.
Dont deny okay, all chinese men has this fucked ego in them, wanting things their way, screaming yelling if others are not willing to follow, thinking they're the best, belittle everyone, and always thinking they're correct, in any way. sorry i meant EVERY WAY.

happy weekend

i just had a great weekend!

Went karaoke with boss and one of our big client - Sara Lee

Got to know Kelly, one of my boss, better.. As she seems to be very concern at me, telling how she was 12 years back, how spoilt she was working in clubs, overused her credit card and her sister has to settle it for her. We are 12 years different in age, so we're both borned in the year of Dragon, i guess she sees alot of herself in me.

Then I went to Alex's birthday (my boss), had fun bonding with all of them, though it seems abit weird weird dei as i couldnt take the office barrier down, and get to know them personally, I fear that they know too much of me and judge me, as i think they already did when i talked to kelly in the karaoke room the other day, she was abit blur/tipsy i suppose, so i sorta catch a few points that Agnes, Alex and Sim did have a discussion about ME. Diu, I'm glad that kelly backed me up, telling them I'm just going through a phase of life, and asking them to rethink of Kelly herself when she was my age. Thanks Kelly! HUGSSSSS

And I met up with Nick and Mich for a drink, and guess what! I think i got the deal!!! i'm really really really fuckingly happy with it. Although its too good to believe but hell its from my reliable babi source michiau, and Nick babi has been talking to Mr. F to sell it to me! with kawan kawan price. oh he's so adorable!!!!!! He suggester to Mr. F, to let me pay by monthly installment (who the hell pays monthly installment for this weih!) and after paying half or more, I get to have it and at the same time paying it! Wtf I'm so happy!!!

I got the job from panasonic!! I love my cousin weih, although we not so kamcing ady la!! I'm starting the job on the second week of April. Hello no life and hello to money and baby red!!

I cant stop smiling weih, Hehe Hi Mich and Z, i know both you are going to tease me as soon as you see this. HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH Happy~~~!!!

Residence bee

There are alot of interesting things around my office if you were to observe and notice. I always make full use of my smoking breaks. Either overlooking from the balcony or halfway daydreaming of something. lol But on and off there are funny things as well

I recall there is this one day, it was evening and i guess some dog like - Sausage dog, are allowed to come out and stroll around without any human companion or a leash. So as sausage were walking happily, as if he was hopping whistling lalalas, from one end towards another end of the road, suddenly it stopped, then sausage walked nearer towards our next-next door neighbours's house, carefully and quietly, he placed his paws step by step, moving his long fat body over, look so suspicious like a thief. I was curious wondering what he's up to, then he came near to a rubbish bin, and he looked left - nobody, looked right - nobody, he did that around several times, then............ he reached over and bite the plastic bag of styrofoam mixed-rice, ran as fast he could towards the opposite road, thats when i heard another cute barking, i assume it was the neighbour's dog who spot sausage stealing rubbish. Then i saw sausage, contented happily ripping the plastic bag apart digging his nose into the styrofoam box. I smiled at myself, then just in time i just finished my cigg.

Dachshund

they always look kelian

One day as i went to the balcony as usual for smoke break, then i notice theres someone at the opposite balcony, then i looked properly only then i recon its the daughter of our neighbour, smoking and talking on the phone, so i just pretended not to notice her as its awkward to watch ur neighbour you know lol, so as she was almost done with her cig, she stood up, she was wearing this grey boyfriend-oversized-tshirt with black colour underwear, and she has long hair with slight wavy at the bottom, long and sexy legs with firm ass. And she did not try to hide or cover her ASS, she just walked into her house, damn slamba wei. i'm like Whow! wheew-it!!!!!

More or less like that, just a different top and diff colored panties :P

There are way more stories, like how the fat chow chow walks around the hot neighbour's house, how my hot neighbour walks around with hot pants and large tshirt, looking like she's not wearing anything in there.mmmmmm. And how that white lady that goes jogging every evening with her ultraman sunglasses which are so last 10 years, Then last few days, i realized there is this residence bee at my next door neightbour's house, as the decor is very balinese and they have a frangipani tree next to the gate, so then i noticed that this humongous fat bee, always resting on their balinese fence lamp, it has been there for so many days already, so cute :)

Fat Bee

killed a cat

Yes i literally killed/ran over a cat when i was on my way to pisang's place, its like one moment, i was happily chatting away with chelle at that uphilled dimmed windy road with my headlight shining onto the road, then another second i saw this white cute thing on the floor rolling towards my direction, only then i realised its a cat that just got hit by the car infront of me, fuck i couldnt avoid it, BAMMMMMM! chelle and i screamed and i shut my eyes for 2 seconds at that pretty sharp corner, fuck i ran over the cat, and there are cars behind as well. Oh my god, i cant imagine it got ran over by few cars :(

I feel so sad and guilty for the cat....R.I.P Mr/Ms Meow :'(


**i miss milky.....:'(


Well i've been thinking alot lately, about people around us. I think everyone should just move on with our own lives, try not to hold grudges nor bitch about others, and most of all its better if one doesn't bloody give two fucks. Let's just let the pass be the pass, I just hope that those that was once hurt will learn from their lessons and be a smarter person to prove others wrong.... that includes me hahahhaha :P And everyone should really move forward, having the correct mindset at a certain age instead of being stagnant at a lifepoint and when its too late to realise, i fear that you are not getting anywhere with that.

I wouldn't say that I am already 'There' , but i would say I'm certainly moving although at turtle speed. I shall go jogging tomorrow, wtf thats like totally out of topic T_T,

Tomorrow's Checklist:-

1. Exercise - Jog after work at Kiara Park
2. Parttime Job - Call up cousin for job
3. Accounts - Do my accounts on excelsheet buku tiga lima
4. Bed Linen - Change pillow case
   

Updates : 14 March 2009

1. i didn't go joggin cause i had to go meet someone

2.I didn't call up but i texted him, no news :(

3. I didn't do my expenses tracking thingy on excel sheet, but on scrap paper.

4. I totally forgot about the bed linen thingy HAHA

Congrats

I woke up at 12noon today, because z woke me up to get ready for her convocation, as she knows I'm a slow poke and I'm always late for any bloody occasion! Since I have to be the camera wo-man today, so i snuggled in bed till 12.15, got up and asked aunty for the camera. Being blur as I just got out of bed, i blabbed/mumbled throughout the camera borrowing process, so I guess they got it wrong and took the camera out.

Being last minute all the time, I got ready and was about to leave home and to realise the camera was not home! I sped to get the camera and tailed almost every single car that was in my way, sorry to all those nice looking cars, i bet you must have felt so embarrased and annoyed that my smelly car could go your speed.

Congrats babe! Heart you so much! I'm so proud of you :D Later on that night we met up with Michie for dinner at puchong, then suddenly she popped the question of whether i wanna meet up with her friend who's an vespa enthusiast after dinner. I quickly shrieked yes in joy, ... yes i do shriek at times T_T lol. I've asked so many questions today, of course most of them are lame ones. And i got the chance to ride on it! Nicholas took me on it, the feeling was just great, indescribable! I am so definately gonna get one, and Nicholas brought a friend over, and by the end of the day, only did i realise that they were actually wanting to sell it to me.. hahaha i appreciated their non-pushy approach, and i trust them as theyre from reliable source - Mich, looking at the great condition of the red vespa, i secretly wants to own it T_T but i dont wanna say "faisal can you wait for a year so that i have money to buy your besi buruk" right? oh well i just hope he could wait, cause i would love that thing to death

red baby <3,

Marley and Me....

Today.... after so long of wanting to watch the movie, Marley and Me.Finally me and z made time tonight.It was such a saddening movie, and i cried so much that i couldn't pull myself out of emotion.. even when i got out of cinema, when z gave me a big hug, i cried even more...Truthfully saying I'm not a sappy person to cry for Romeo and Juliets.. I even laughed during the movie World Trade Center... Sighh I must have missed milky so damn much.. :'(

restart

Today, I very bersemangat to restart my dead blog, which I failed to revive it on the last post, haha dont worry it'll start from zero... new blog, new name, new layout and most of all new posts

But I just don't know why I just don't quite like to blog on blogspot, everytime i have an inspiration or an idea of a blog topic, there i click http://www.blogger.com/, logged-in, create a post, stared at the blank column and title, then i just black-out....

hmmm okay then, i shall continue my hk series for now! :)