consquences

consequences...i hate you

knowing that i can finally own baby #199 is like accomplishing at least one of my goals this year, Alex, my boss asked for a goal list earlier this year, and owning #199 is one of them, and a few more goals are no problem at the end of the year. I'm so proud of myself.

but after yesterday's talk, the consequences of losing my car and getting into fights with evil people at home is slowly eating me up, yeah so what i can afford it, i know they will surely find fault with me saying if i could own #199, why not paying my own car etc etc. I've already see it coming anyway.

i may know the reason behind if my father objects me to own it, its the safety which is his main concern, but why treat me like a son before and now giving me rules of what a girl of his eyes should follow? Why?? I secretly still hate the situation at home though no more screamings and annoying i-m-so-dissappointed facial expressions already.. sigh, i still feel very empty sitting at the corner of my room...

as for the evil people, mind you its singular. yeah he would find anything to make me feel miserable again, i truly hate him, though he may seem harsh at the surface and all he wants is me to be good. Yeah Wtf his defination of good is no where what I am today, doesn't mean what I'm doing now concludes that I'm a bad person right? I just happened to turn out to be an unidentified androgynous person. You, your beloved daddy and mommy made me this way, I have no choice in it. And I happened to be out of the norm at home, I think im just very westernized, which i know they are incapable of accepting changes and new culture. Just by the way they communicate, I can easily tell that they havent grew out of stone age.

If those consquences came true, I might lose my car. And I'll just have to blame my genes, WHY THE HELL AM I BORN CHINESE and have bloody egoistic cina men in my family.

Dont laugh okay, including you cina men, all cina men.
Dont deny okay, all chinese men has this fucked ego in them, wanting things their way, screaming yelling if others are not willing to follow, thinking they're the best, belittle everyone, and always thinking they're correct, in any way. sorry i meant EVERY WAY.