red scotch tape

i really do not know how unfortunate can i get? i got home at 815pm, to find myself having to pretend that i am totally okay, had to put a clown disguise. I felt a little better after playing with my sister. Where milky was supposed to be the one to put a smile on my face.

I do not know is it only me? or my father was giving me some kind of i-have-problems-with-you face... regarding the car repair payment. Remember i fixed my car last month? and i got conned unto some cheap china fan motor that malfunctioned after a week? After that i had no choice but to send my car back to my father's workshop. I thought he would bear it as i have been conned. But it came as a shock when i sent my car to fix the speedometer wiring, the mechanic told me that "your father asked you to pay the previous bill". I told him off by telling him i do not have money with me, and will drop by soon.

Can you tell me how am i suppose to react? Is it wrong for me to feel disappointed at him? I know it is not good to rely on parents or whoever, but tell me why am i hurt? why? having to pay RM330. It may not be much of a big deal, yeah just a fucking quarter plus of my pay, just fucking 28 percent of my pay, not like i've never bear a RM450 debt before. But it really hurts to know that i have no one, no family.

Other than that, when i was on my way to fetch sin and alex from the bus stop, my side mirror miraculously fell off leaving the piece hanging on to the car with its cable, to found out that the side mirror holder snapped for no apparent reason. Now i have to fix it again.

Having to survive with my current pay is not easy, it is not easy when there is so much things to pay. I dream for a better job, but what i found on job street are just crappy jobs which requires no brains = no qualifications. sigh saddening isnt it?

I took the only scotch tape i had at home, which is red in colour, and taped my mirror onto my car. how sad can i get?