not-so-secret interview

Last Friday i went for the interview in Cyberjaya for the call centre job position for HSBC, salary is good and benefits are good as well. I think HSBC called up my company right after the interview, no wonder i felt such a strong ignorance from my reporting senior and director, i came to work today and realised that they have started out the project which I'm supposed to be involved, without a word of asking me to come out with more ideas and destinations.

Then i had a chat with my relative, also the so called CEO of the company, i was being frank about my not-so-enough salary having to pay for my never ending debts, told her about finding jobs and going for interviews too. i thought it would better if i "surrender" myself before they have a chance to bitch about it behind my back. whatever not like i care much anyway

I made a wrong airasia booking last week and had to amend it today, it costs RM 902.00. I feel so bad weih, its almost the same but slighty lesser than my salary T_____T. I know i shouldn't be feeling guilty but heck.

Reminder to self:-
Thou shall not feel bad/guilty/mm-sher-tak for leaving this company.
There are a lot more opportunity out there with fatter pay cheques.

mesmerized

love her voice to death. listen to it and i bet you are as speechless as me. so mesmerized ♥

*drum rolls*
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ZEE AVI

Someone you used to know

Tonight you belong to me

Live with Brushfire Records

Check out Kokokaina / Zee Avi

i could listen to it all night ♥

sweet

Dear Alex,

Well noted with many thanks for the fucking reminder!
Just to CLARIFY a few things, last Thursday night on the calls that I did not pick up,
IT WAS DUE TO MY MALFUNCTIONED PHONE which does not vibrate/ring from time to time. And I only saw it at 12am midnight before going to bed, I got back to Sharini rightaway and did her booking, I understand that she was very worried about the room availability, and DUE TO UNSTABLE INTERNET CONNECTION AT HOME, it was obviously difficult to book, I TRIED UNTIL 130AM and finally succeed, thus I was late for work on Friday,

Sorry for all the inconvenience caused, MAYBE IF NEXT TIME YOU COULD NOT REACH ME,PERHAPS YOU CAN CALL UP OTHER COLLEAGUES FOR ASSISTANCE.

Regards,
Shu Li

This is what i replied the fucker, since he cc-ed it to Melanie and Agnes.
I DID THE SAME TOO HUAHUAHUAHAUHAU
..............mother fucker...

chocolate cake

yeah chocolate cake, mind you im not refering to anything sweet but to the pile of brown paste from the toilet bowl. I get so much shit nowadays, and im starting to get annoyed with life..... again. Like how unfortunate can things be?

1. i got screwed on MON cause i was accused for sitting on my task instead of finding solutions for it, yes it was delayed as i was fuckingly busy doing so many things.
2. on TUES i wasnt happy so i took emergency leave telling lies that my car has broke down, it took me some time to return my colleague's call as i couldnt be bothered, thus unhappy colleagues, and to found out about the dad-&-car-payment issue, thus me = upset,
3. on WED when i was out fetching sin and alex, side mirror broke, gotta fork out money again.
4. on THURS at 11PM (which is waaaaaaaaay after working hours) i got 10 thousand miss calls by bosses, didnt pick it up as my phone did not even ring, wonky bad phone, colleague told me that they think i did it on purpose to avoid their calls, fucking hell.
5. on FRI, got up late as i did hotel booking until 2am++, so i couldnt wake up and was late for work, got an email on my fucking punctuality. saying "Shuli, you seriously need to look into your punctuality, from monday onwards you have to be at office latest by 930am, unless with valid reason". And before going jst now, i asked my dad to borrow me his car since my side mirror is broken, he answered "why cant you drive with the broken mirror?" Pissed, so i drove out with the ugly thing hanging on my car.

Fucking screw you man! Thank you weewee for your advice on "WORK HARD, WORK SMART" Yeaps nobody is going to remember how late you work, how much you did for the company. No fucking body remembers. Karma is going to get back on you Bitch, fucking chinese. So ashamed to be born as one.

red scotch tape

i really do not know how unfortunate can i get? i got home at 815pm, to find myself having to pretend that i am totally okay, had to put a clown disguise. I felt a little better after playing with my sister. Where milky was supposed to be the one to put a smile on my face.

I do not know is it only me? or my father was giving me some kind of i-have-problems-with-you face... regarding the car repair payment. Remember i fixed my car last month? and i got conned unto some cheap china fan motor that malfunctioned after a week? After that i had no choice but to send my car back to my father's workshop. I thought he would bear it as i have been conned. But it came as a shock when i sent my car to fix the speedometer wiring, the mechanic told me that "your father asked you to pay the previous bill". I told him off by telling him i do not have money with me, and will drop by soon.

Can you tell me how am i suppose to react? Is it wrong for me to feel disappointed at him? I know it is not good to rely on parents or whoever, but tell me why am i hurt? why? having to pay RM330. It may not be much of a big deal, yeah just a fucking quarter plus of my pay, just fucking 28 percent of my pay, not like i've never bear a RM450 debt before. But it really hurts to know that i have no one, no family.

Other than that, when i was on my way to fetch sin and alex from the bus stop, my side mirror miraculously fell off leaving the piece hanging on to the car with its cable, to found out that the side mirror holder snapped for no apparent reason. Now i have to fix it again.

Having to survive with my current pay is not easy, it is not easy when there is so much things to pay. I dream for a better job, but what i found on job street are just crappy jobs which requires no brains = no qualifications. sigh saddening isnt it?

I took the only scotch tape i had at home, which is red in colour, and taped my mirror onto my car. how sad can i get?

call me bitter

i totally understand that every living being should have an optimistic mindset when facing their everyday lives, like the quote "fall seven times, stand up eight", i kept on reminding myself to practise that, until the point that i wanted to tattoo it on myself. I've been telling myself everyday not to drown myself with sorrows when life has countless of obstacles, not to sulk, not to complain, not to blame, not to runaway. But i guess im very much indenial, that people around me are really not as simple as i thought.

These people are full of intentions and full with self-beneficiary plans. Yes I do understand that everyone is selfish, and i cannot expect everyone to be selfless and nice. But can't they have some mercy at least? I do appreciate that some are indeed very very nice. I just talked to my office mate, she came downstairs when i was half way throught this post. She told me her experience during her studies, how she survived Australia when her parents couldn't afford to give her allowance, how she got through it.

I'm definately going to miss her, as i forsee a dead quiet mute Ng Shu Li at the new office with non of these adorable office mates, i will be surrounded by selfish people. I really do not bloody care what they think of me, how they judge me or whatsoever. How they discuss/bitch about everyone behind their back, I kneo that i have done my job, despite the fact that i procrastinate at times. If you think i'm a joke, take a mirror and look at yourself why are you still stucked here, why are you such a chronic hypocrite?

I always believed that "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you". But then i've come to realise human are always selfish. I have been belittled in everyway, bullied unto doing every single thing. I hate myself for being so weak, i hate it when someone accuse me but i cant speak up, i hate it when i see myself as a pile of dirt. I hate to be insignificant. Fucking manupulative cockroaches.

black-frame-thick-rimmed glasses

I got my black frame thick rimmed glasses! Chio or not? I contemplated on this for around 1 month plus, and decided to get it finally! I have been camwhoring with it but guess what... i havent prescribed my lenses yet! HAHAHAHAHA been pretty tight financially and im still saving up for my upcoming trip, and thinking of getting back my lost diving license, should i or should i not? it costs around RM230 when i last checked..... 2 years back! lol